Muddling Through

It's been a few weeks since my last post....end of June/beginning of July is pretty busy in our family! We went out of town for the holiday and had some birthday celebrations in between.

Just a small update. We've figured out some of the financial problems from the previous post, and have a plan of action...now we're just trying to implement it. Having to wait on some documents from the bank to send to our builder so we can get reimbursed for half of the taxes that they were supposed to pay for last year, and once we get that (it's been said they have a quick turnaround....let's hope it's true), then we can work on the rest.

That said...we've taken this month off in regards to the scientifically-enhanced baby-making processes. Don't get me wrong...we're still trying! :) Just took a pass on going through the specialist and all the appointments and sonograms and meds for this month, until we can get the finances worked out. We might skip next month too, depending on if we get the budget worked out.

But, we're trying to make it a priority to keep on track. We don't want to put it off until later, because of my age. I'm 36 1/2 already, so the more time we let go by, the more risk factors we encounter. I can see where he's coming from, but I guess I'm also a little bit in denial about it. It's a little hard to explain. I'll get into all of that more in a later post. So, anyway...point being....we don't want to put things off for a year. So, we're going to do what we can to make it happen.

So, I've tried to temp and check my body stats more thoroughly this month, but so far the charting still says I'm not fertile yet, but I also skipped while we were out of town, and last weekend...so hopefully I didn't miss it! ;) I don't think I did....things are looking pretty good as I interpret them right now, so I'm going to keep charting, and keep seducing, and we'll see what happens!

The Other Shoe Is Dropping

The first shoe is obviously the fact that we are having to go through this whole process to get another baby in the first place. Kind of like our adoption plans falling through, I think we were both kind of wondering when something would go wrong with this process.

In the course of about 18 hours, from last night to this afternoon, 3 separate and completely unrelated financial whammies have occurred, which will at the very least, postpone our plans a few months, and maybe permenantly...unless we win the lottery (which I must keep reminding myself that I have to actually buy a ticket for that to happen!) or have a rich unknown relative pass on and leave us a fortune (not likely).

We're still reviewing things to see what we can do. We do believe there are some errors in some cases that will be in our favor when corrected, but it's not enough. We were going to be scraping the bottom of the barrel for the extra $1000-$1500 we'd need each month for the treatments/appointments/drugs, and I'm 99% sure that's not going to be possible in the next few months.

I'm going to wait another week before calling Dr Pinto to let him know things are on hold.

Surgery Notes Pending

I'm writing/typing out my surgery post, but it's taking longer than I planned. I promise I'll have it up soon with all the details!!! (well, maybe not all, but enough! LOL!)

Check back soon!

Under the Knife

We're getting ready to head to the surgery center. I had some meltdowns last night, just anxiety. I'm more worried about the anesthesia than the actual procedure. But anyway.....I wrote a letter to Lily last night, just in case. I told Kevin I didn't think I could write another one to him, but he understood. I can talk to him, tell him things. He knows how I feel. I wanted Lily to have something in the future to keep, since she's so young.

Anyway, I digress....it's all for just me anyway, because I know things will be fine. I'll update tonight or maybe tomorrow on how things went.

Pre-Op Appt

We had our pre-op appointment today with Dr. Pinto. The appt was at 10:30 am....as usual, I leave in just enough time to walk in the door at 10:30. I call Kevin as I'm walking down from the parking garage at the hospital, and as he predicted, he forgot (even though we'd talked about it the past few days and I emailed him yesterday to put it on his calendar!) and was just heading out. Turns out that it didn't matter because we ended up waiting an hour in the waiting room!

Finally we get called back and go into the office. I didn't know whether there would be any type of exam today or not (turns out not) but figured it would be a pretty short appt. Dr Pinto went over what to expect when we get to the surgical center, and the basics of how the surgery will be handled:

I have to get there at 11:30 am (surgery is at 1:00). No eating or drinking after midnight, so that will be fun -I guess I'll stay up late and have a late snack, then sleep in! He will take me back while I'm still awake so that he can get me in position comfortably. He explained that he had a procedure a few years ago and they knocked him out and then put him in position, and when he woke up, he had a horrible crick in his back that lasted a few weeks! So, he takes steps to avoid that now for his patients. The procedure itself should take less than 15 mins, barring any complications. It'll be like a minor version of a D&C, just focusing on the polyp removal, while observing the rest of the uterus while he's in there to make sure there aren't any other issues. Of course there are risks.....he could poke a hole in the uterus while inserting the catheter (which has never happened to him), my uterus could absorb too much fluid, but they have safeguard procedures to prevent that from happening and they will stop the surgery if it appears that is happening well before I reach a dangerous level. And of course there's always a risk with anesthesia, which is what I'm worried about most.

I've been knocked out once before, when I was in college, to get my wisdom teeth removed. I remember being really nervous, and I remember crying as I was waking up, which they said was normal for people that are nervous. But now, I'm married and I have a little girl, and the fear is starting to get to me a little more. I know it's irrational, and that I don't have any medical reason to be so nervous, but it's still there.

Okay, back to the 'walkthrough'....after the procedure, they'll hold me in recovery in the surgery room, then take me to a recovery room to wake up (about 30-40 mins for that)....then they'll let Kevin come back after I wake up. They'll get me up and about a little, and give me some crackers and water or juice and make sure I'm good with that, and then I'll get to go home shortly after! He said I should be back to normal, able to move and work as normal, within 4 hours, but I'll still be under the effects of the anesthesia for about 24 hours. Pain-wise, I shouldn't have need for anything stronger than over-the-counter, Tylenol or Advil; if I do, then call him immediately! I should be able to eat a normal, light dinner (which I'm sure I'll be dying for by then!). Expect possible light spotting, light cramping, shouldn't get worse then that. So, in other words, if everything goes as planned, I'm probably expecting it to be worse than it actually will be.

There is also the 'unknown' white spotty area near the polyp that he couldn't tell what it was during the sono-histogram that he's going to check out...probably just scar tissue, but at least we'll hopefully find out for sure. Dr Pinto will take photos before, during and after the procedure, and while I'm in recovery, will go out and explain everything he did, so that hopefully Kevin can explain it to me later while I'm coherent. Then, I go back in about a week for a checkup, and hopefully we'll be good to go after that! Of course, I'll probably be ovulating during that week, so another cycle down.

I'm anxious, nervous, and apprehensive, but excited to get past this and get on with the process again. Kevin still has to get tested, but hopefully can get that taken care of in the next few weeks.

Oh, I almost forgot this! Yes, I have insurance, but with my deductible (which unfortunately hasn't been met yet) and my 20%, we're having to pay $853 on Friday!!!!! Ugh! At least we found this out about 3 weeks beforehand, so we had time to prepare for it.

We Have a Surgery Date!

The polyp removal has been set for June 13th at 1 pm. I have a pre-op appointment the week before to go over everything. I'm not sure why it took so long to set it, but hopefully that's the last of problems like this.

Omigosh....typing that out, I just realized my surgery is on FRIDAY THE 13TH!!!!!!!!! Aaaaarrrgghh!!!

Finally!

Chandra finally called me this morning to go over when we were available to do the surgery. I had mentioned on the voicemail that it was either this Friday or June, because that is what she had told us the day of the sono-hystogram. But when she called, she made it sound like it we needed it that way! Ugh! I hope this isn't a sign of things to come.

So, she still has to call the surgery center to see what they have available. Who knows how long it will be to get another call back!

Okay, Seriously....

Schedule the darn appointment!!!!!

No call from Chandra today either, and again, I forgot until late, so I left her a voicemail just before closing. So, hopefully, I'll remember to call her tomorrow early enough to get something done!

Schedule the Darn Appointment Already!

So I didn't hear from the nurse on Friday, and I forgot to call today until late in the afternoon, and Chandra, the nurse to schedule surgeries didn't answer, so I spoke to Vicki, who said she'd check with Chandra, and have her call me back. Ugh! It's looking like it won't be this Friday.

Sono Hystogram

The gameplan is changing. I should've known there'd be a curveball thrown in sometime.

I went in this afternoon for my sono hystogram, so Dr Pinto could get a better look at the mysterious whiteness in my uterus, and instead of figuring that out, he found a polyp instead! Of course he wants to remove it, because it could be impeding implantation of my eggs.

It'll be an outpatient surgical procedure, and apparently I will be under general anesthesia (took me a few minutes to get that, he was making it sound so minor!). The procedure itself will only be about 15-20 mins, but preparation will be like an hour and a half! He likes to do them on Fridays, to give patients the weekend to recover, so his nurse will call tomorrow to see when they can schedule me in. It'll either be next Friday, or sometime in June, because he has something else already the next 2 Fridays.

Oh, and more on the whiteness, apparently I'm a medical mystery. He can't tell what they are yet, even with today's procedure. He said they could be very small lesions or growths that are just concentrated right there (the polyp is just below it), but that it's too high up to be the scar tissue from my c-section. So, when he removes the polyp, he'll actually have some type of uterine telescope thingy in there that he can get a better look at it. Another Ugh! Hopefully it's nothing or something he can easily take care of while he's in there or nothing of concern (unless it's impeding implanation as well).

On the plus side, today's procedure was fine. I took 2 ibuprofen on the way there (about 30 mins before), there was some pressure during the procedure, but not too bad. He said I could have some minor cramping tonight, but I'm just barely feeling any right now, going to take another ibuprofen before bed though. On the down side, the saline they inject in to inflate the uterus has to go *somewhere*, so I'm going to have wet discharge for a few days. But, he gave the okay to have sex, so Yay! LOL!

Because of the polyp and needing to remove it, he didn't even look at my ovaries or discuss the HCG shot (I forgot to ask). So, I'm still temping and maybe I can tell on my own when I ovulate and we'll go ahead and take advantage of that and deal with it depending on when they schedule the surgery. Oh well.

Oh! He went over my test results again, and said everything on my end looks great! My FSH levels were 6.5 on day 10 (6.4 on day 3 - needs to be under 8), I have low cholesterol apparently (he made it sound like that was an issue? I thought that was good!) I'm a little bit anemic, so I need to take an iron supplement, but otherwise everything looks good (except for the polyp). Kevin got orders from him to get a sperm analysis, so he'll probably try to do that next week. Dr Pinto said based on what he sees so far, he isn't going to suggest we go high tech with this process, just work with the fertility drugs and maybe try insemination, but he sees no reason why those shouldn't work at this point!

I'm supposed to hear from Chandra tomorrow afternoon for scheduling the surgery, so until that happens, I guess that's it.

Oh, I almost forgot! We showed Dr Pinto and Chandra my now bruising arm, where Amy drew my blood. Even he went "Whoa!" and they talked about taking picture to show her and give her a hard time, but then never did. Let's hope it doesn't happen again!

Antibiotics

I forgot to mention that they gave me a 3 day antibiotic prescription to the day before, of and after the sono-histogram to help prevent infection. The nurse warned me that they could cause an upset stomach and to take it with a snack even though you're not supposed to take it at least 2 hours before or after a meal (no dairy or multivitamin during that time either). Twice a day.

Yesterday, I took it shortly after eating a banana, my first food for the day. My breakfast is usually light anyway. I got a little nauseous, but not too bad, and was fine when I took it in the afternoon. This morning, same thing, eat a banana, took the pill. About an hour later, I'm in the bathroom at work with a preview of what morning sickness will be like! Tomorrow I will definitely be taking it later in the morning, well after breakfast!

The procedure is this afternoon, Kevin will be there with me. I'm still hoping they can look at the follicles today and things look good. I'm going to Dr Pinto's 3rd office today, so now I'll have hit all 3!

Holy Crap!

Wow! Okay, this is freaking me out now! Even Kevin looked at it and went "Eeeeeeeew!"



I didn't look at it all day, and tonight it looks like this. I guess the movement of my arm caused the blood pool to spread out into the crease of the elbow. It's starting to bruise too.

It's just so weird, too, that it didn't hurt at all when she did the blood draw! It's a little tender and sore now (just kinda of a dull ache), but not bad. Guess I won't be wearing any short sleeved shirts for a while!

Ugh!

So, as painless as the blood draw was yesterday, I should've known it would turn out bad with all the stopping and starting and spurting trying to fill the one vial (sorry, don't mean to be gross, just trying to describe it accurately). I didn't take off the bandaid last night, even though I normally don't keep them on for more than an hour or two, but it fell off after my shower this morning, and there's not quite a dime sized pool of blood under the skin where she stuck me. Ugh!

Clomid Challenge Test Results

Today is Cycle Day 10! I had my appointment today at Dr Pinto's main office, which is much different than the Grapevine office....much more room, much more stylized decor. And a HUGE sonogram/exam room with a flat screen monitor on the wall! I guess the Infertility business pays well (insert 'duh' here).

First things first, CD3 bloodwork results. My FSH level is 6.4 - he wanted it under 8, so this is great! My estrogen level was at 25, which Amy, the nurse, said was good. Then she set me up for the sonogram and Dr Pinto came in to observe. I had 2 really good follicles, both around 14 mm, which is great - one in each ovary. She said they would probably give me an HCG shot later in the week if they continue to grow well. That way both ovaries will release and give us a better chance!

They did notice a small white-ish area in my uterus, which she said could be lesions of some sort or scar tissue from surgery (my C-Section). So, on Thursday, they want me to come in for a sono-histogram to check that out. If it is an area where the eggs are trying to implant, then it is probably preventing implantation. They'll also check my follicles again at that appointment, which will be CD 13.

Then, she took some more blood to check my FSH level again, to compare to CD 3. I should have those results on Thursday. She had some trouble getting in the vein, I think she did it too shallow, it kept stopping! But at least she didn't have to stick me again, and it was only one vial.

I've forgotten about the constant barrage of going to appointment after appointment and how hard it is to balance with work. I'm just glad to have a boss that is understanding and willing to work with me through this. Hopefully I don't have to put her through it for months upon months!

Pincushion

So, today is Cycle Day 3, and I head to the local Quest lab on the way to work to get my blood drawn for the tests Dr Pinto wants done (FH and Estrogen levels, amongst others). It's supposed to be a fasting draw, and luckily the lab opens at 7 am, so I shouldn't be any later to work than normal.

So I check in, she calls me back and as I'm sitting in the chair, she starts pulling out vials..........NINE OF THEM!!!!!!! I had glanced at the sheet from Dr Pinto and noticed several check marks, but didn't even register what that meant until that moment!

I just kinda drew my breath in and said "whoa....that's a lot!" The nurse's response "Yeah, but they don't all have to be full"......um....okay, sure! Could've fooled me as she was filling them! Thank goodness for the stint they put in so they don't actually have to stick you that many times!

Last time I donated blood, a few years ago, I almost fainted. With no breakfast in me today, I began to get a little worried that I was driving alone! I headed straight to Sonic and got a smoothie and a breakfast burrito when I was done! LOL!

Calling shortly to make an appointment for Cycle Day 10 per Dr Pinto's orders. I start the Clomid Challange Test (said with booming TV announcer voice) on Wednesday. Wonder how wacky the hormones will make me....I don't remember!

Sooner Than I Thought

Well, this happened sooner than I thought it would! I woke up this morning and had started my period! So, cycle day 1. Guess I'm going to be stopping by the Quest lab on the way to work Monday morning for my blood-work.

Dr. Pinto

Today was our first appointment with the Reproductive Specialist. It was a very informative appointment. We first met with Dr Pinto in his office. He went over our history and discussed the basics of fertility and fertility issues. He did some really cute hand drawings (upside down, no less!) showing us the progression of egg loss as women get older, and how the brain and ovaries work together (or not) and what effects PCOS can have on the ovulation process.

Side Bar

Did you know that when a female baby is in utero at about 16 weeks, she has about 6-8 million eggs! By the time the baby is born, she's down to about 1-2 million. By puberty, 350,000. From that point, we lose, for various reasons, about 3-11 eggs per month! And this greatly increases the older we get, along with diminished quality. Wow! That was eye-opening information for sure!

Okay, back to the post

Dr. Pinto then went over how he likes to start the process. First he wants to determine an approximation of my egg quality and quantity. This is done most easily by blood tests on specific cycle days, to check the FH and estrogen levels in my blood. Until that is determined, he doesn't really want to discuss possible treatments/procedures. He's definitely the type that will tell it to us straight and not waste our time. He'll go over all the results and give us a reasonable expectation on what he thinks our chances are. After the initial tests, if everything looks good, then Kevin will have his 'boys' tested and we'll decide on a plan of action!

He also wants to do a Clomid Challenge Test to see how my ovaries respond. I'm not worried about this, since I've used Clomid in the past; but just hearing him call it that conjures up images of games shows and booming voices! LOL!

Next, he did a sonogram and he didn't see anything that concerned him. He's confused as to why Dr Lopez's office is telling me I have a polyp on my ovary. He agrees with what I found online....polyps don't happen there, cysts do. So, he's not sure what they saw, and he hasn't received their records yet. He thinks it might have been ovulation-related because their sonogram was done on Day 15 (how cool would it be to see an egg as it's ovulating!!!). He said there were signs of possibly PCOS symptoms on my left ovary - about 7-8 follicle masses that weren't released, but nothing serious or harmful (maybe this is why the ovary felt enlarged to Dr Lopez?!?!) He had mentioned possibly doing a hysteroscopy to check out the condition of my uterus, too, but during the sonogram, he said he didn't see any fibrous tissues or anything else, so he's not going to do that yet.

He gave me orders for getting my blood drawn on cycle day 2 or 3 for checking the FSH and estrogen levels, and prescriptions for Clomid and Provera (to take in case I don't start my period on my own soon....I'm due anytime, but with the last few cycles being so whacked out....who knows). He said to do a home pregnancy test on Wednesday if still no sign of a period, and then call them, but more than likely he'd have me start the Provera then.

All in all, I really like him. He seems attentive, told us he'd give us his cell phone number in case we ever had any questions (didn't seem to get it though! Need to ask at next appt!). And he has 3 offices that are all fairly convenient to work (within 20 mins at least). So, we'll see what happens! I'm going to go ahead and start temping and charting again, too....couldn't hurt!

Sonogram Results

I received a call a little while ago from Judy, Dr Lopez's nurse with the results of the sonogram. She says I have a polyp on my left ovary. They recommend getting it removed, but it's not a major, must-deal-with-immediately concern. They know I have an appointment with Dr Pinto, the specialist, on the 24th, and she said I can either have it done in their office or wait to see if Dr Pinto wants to do it.

My first thought was to wait and discuss with Dr Pinto, but after discussing with Kevin, he wanted to have it taken care of as soon as possible. I called Judy back to discuss with her, and she spoke with Dr Lopez. They then confirmed that it's not as high risk as the impression Kevin has, and there is no problem waiting to discuss with Dr Pinto, so that's what we're going to do. Her reasoning, is that he may want to include it in his course of action for our infertility, as the removal process would probably involve a hysteroscopy, which also allows a fairly open view of the uterus, which would for an optimal time to make any other observations regarding the condition of my body and fertility issues. So, we're waiting......

The strange thing is that I feel things on my left side in the area of the ovary, as if I can 'feel' something in the way. Small twinges, occasional bits of discomfort. Amazing how the mind works at the smallest suggestion!

Oh, and internet searches of medical issues is not a smart thing to do. While I cannot find a single website the puts the words "ovary" and "polyp" side-by-side (most mention 'ovarian cysts' or 'uterine polyp'), the majority of items that are coming up are referring or ovarian cancer!!! I know if it was a major concern, she'd have me in right away, but it's still a little scary seeing all that! But what's the deal with the 'polyp' when there's no reference to anything like that on the internet!?!?!?

Sonogram

I was supposed to go in for a sonogram yesterday, but there were horrible storms overnight Wed/Thurs that knocked out some power in the area. The office called and rescheduled me for today. They must have been trying to play catch-up all in one day, because the waiting room was packed when I got there! I felt kinda bad that I got called back so soon when some of the women had obviously been waiting a while, but I ended up only seeing a sonogram technician and not my doctor, so that probably explains it.

I guess I was expecting her to kind of fill me in on what she was seeing. The only other times I had sonograms was when Dr Nokleberg was doing them years ago in Round 1 (that's what I'm going to refer to our initial infertility problems as from now on! LOL!) She would show me the screen and explain what she was seeing. This technician just quietly went about her work and only spoke to let me know when she was inserting or shifting or removing the sonogram wand. She looked at both the right and left ovaries, as well as took several shots of the uterus. At the end, she told me that she will give the information to Dr Lopez and Judy (Dr Lopez's nurse) to review and diagnose, and Judy would be giving me a call probably middle of next week. I'm sure she knows what she's doing and got sufficient pictures and data to give Dr Lopez everything she needs, but I guess it just makes me feel a little weird about it all. How can a doctor make a fully informed diagnosis if she's not seeing it first hand? I guess we'll see.

New Beginnings

I originally created this blog about a year ago with the intentions of blogging our family's journey towards adopting a child from China. A few days later, we found out that dream would not be happening, for many reasons. I'll explain that more in a future post, but for now, I'm going to begin with the new direction our lives are taking us.

A little background, before we had Lily, Kevin and I experienced infertility issues.  We took the drugs, did the injections and even tried one round of IUI (intrauterine insemination) with no success.  After being referred to an RE in 2001, we did one visit, had one additional test (a hysterosalpingogram - HSG dye test to determine if there are any blockages in the uterus or tubes), and took a break.  Shortly after, we moved back to OK for a year, then moved to AZ in 2002, a few months after Kevin had gastric bypass surgery.  All this time, we were not using any birth control, my cycles continued to be out of control (frequently 60-90 days long) and we weren't even thinking about trying to get pregnant.  Then, at some time in late March or early April 2003, the miracle happened and we conceived Lily.  Why God chose this time to bless us, we will never know, but our lives have never been the same since!

Since having Lily, my cycles have been fairly normal (28-30 days).  Other than the mini-pill taken while I was nursing, we have not used any contraception, other than natural planning (avoiding certain times of the month when we expected to be ovulating) and even then, not really 'planning' to avoid pregnancy, just not really trying.  Over the past year, though, we've gone more from avoiding that time to focusing on that time.  We told ourselves we weren't really trying, but that if it happened, great.  I think this was our way of protecting ourselves in case it didn't happen on it's own again.

Now, enough time has gone by that we're ready to admit that we want another child.  Lily is 4 1/2, and she's beginning to ask about having a baby brother or sister (well, usually a sister).   It was time to admit that we were finally 'trying' all along. I'd been procrastinating and hadn't had my 'yearly' checkup in well over 2 years; also, after 4 years of normal periods, my body finally decided to go out of whack and screw with me, giving me a 35 day cycle in Jan, then Feb/Mar was about 56 days!  So, I finally went for my 'yearly' checkup yesterday.

After reviewing my history and the fact that I am now 36 and have tried fertility treatments in the past with no success, my new OB/GYN Dr. Lopez didn't want to waste any time.  She immediately referred me to a reproductive specialist to get us started on this roller coaster again.  She also indicated that my left ovary felt slightly enlarged and she wanted to do a sonogram to determine if there were any issues that could be causing my irregular cycles (cysts, fibrous tissues, etc...).  I go next Thurs for that. 

So, it looks like I will now be using this blog to post about our experiences with infertility, visits with the specialist, our thoughts and emotions as we go through this process, again.  The first time was extremely difficult; I think partly because we felt so much more pressure then to try and make it happen, both for ourselves and for each other and our families.  And we didn't communicate with each other very well about it all.  But this time around, we're older and more mature (hopefully), we have a stronger relationship, and we know what we're heading into.  And, most importantly, we already have Lily, and it's hard to expect another miracle to happen when we were blessed with such perfection the first time around.